The Basics

One owner is selected as the vampire and has to build their team from the waiver wire.  No other team has access to the waiver wire during the season (exceptions below).  Most head-to-head games during the season follow rules in standard leagues.  The one exception is when you are facing the vampire.  If the vampire wins they can select any player from the losing team’s starting lineup and force a trade with a player of the same position from their starting lineup.  This is how the vampire builds up his team during the season.  Once the playoffs are set, everyone has access to the waiver wire and head-to-head matchups are all equal (the vampire can no longer steal a player).  

*The optimal league and roster size is a 10-team league with a 16-player roster (no IR, explained below). This gives the vampire a better pool of players and makes the league more competitive.

No Stash Variant: In this format, the vamp declares a target from his opponent’s entire roster. Vamp has to declare prior to target player’s game that week.  If the vampire wins he must take the declared player regardless if he was injured that weekend and must exchange with a player of the same position from his starting lineup. No stashing or protecting players.

Garlic option:  Don’t see the point to this since it’s a disadvantage to the vamp, but with this rule an owner can protect one player when facing the vamp with a garlic “necklace”..It just reeks of “I’m a big pu***” (I do enjoy good puns).

FUCK THE COWBOYS CLAUSE: Any posting deemed offensive by the Commissioner will incur a beer fine.  Examples include using or posting anything with the phrase “America’s Team” or “How ’bout them Cowboys”


The only difference from a normal draft is that the vampire does not take part.  In most league formats, the best way to accomplish this is to have the vampire set up his draft to choose low tier players that are not likely to be drafted by the other league owners.  Retired/injured and out for the season players are a good way to do this.  This should be set up by the vampire or the commissioner before the draft.  After the draft has concluded owners are allowed to adjust their rosters with access to waivers or edits by the league commissioner in order to make up for errors or auto-drafts (usually a day or 2) and then the vampire may begin to construct his team from the remaining undrafted players.

Facing the Vampire

This is where this format gets interesting.  If you lose to the vampire during the regular season, the vampire is allowed to trade one player from his starting lineup with one player of the same position (i.e: QB for QB, WR for WR) from the losing owner’s starting lineup.  An email/text request to the commish is usually the best way to do this.  Alternately I recommend adding the Vampire as a secondary league manager for the season.  When facing the Vampire you can choose to bench one or more of your studs to avoid losing them, however you must field a complete starting lineup with no empty slots, players on a bye, players designated as “IR” or “out” (unless you can’t due to roster limitations).  In the case where there is a vacant or invalid starter (and if the vampire wins), the vampire is allowed to take a player from the bench that could rightfully have been used in that roster spot.

*If you are going to bench your stud players, you must complete your lineup one hour prior to games starting on game day to allow the Vampire to adjust his starting lineup accordingly.


This is the realm of the vampire; the undead shall we say.  No other owners are allowed to pluck the undead from the waiver wire during the regular season


Unlike most leagues where trades are rare, this is what can drive this league.  Trades are often the most exciting part of any league.  You can obviously trade with any other owner, however, the vampire has the biggest pool of players at his disposal, therefore a deal with the devil is highly encourage

Injured Reserve
(other exceptions)

In the case where a player is placed on Injured reserve an exception to the no waiver rule can be made.   An owner may drop a player who has officially been designated as IR and replace him with a player of the same position.  However, the vampire must have first choice of the waiver wire undead.  This can be done by allowing the drop/add of the IR player on Thursday (most waivers occur on Wednesday, thereby giving the vampire a full day to feed). Requests should be sent to the Commissioner by email/text.  In leagues where there is an IR roster spot, that is another option if the owner prefers to stash the player for later in the season.  The IR roster is not recommended, as I feel it is a disadvantage to the Vampire.  If an injured player is returning later in the season, it is up to the owner to decide if it’s worthwhile to leave the player on their bench and wait. You must replace said IR player the week of his IR designation otherwise you are accepting the IR terms and must keep that player on your roster. Exceptions can also be made for players who are cut, waived, suspended or retire during the season.


Once the playoffs are set, waivers are open to all and the regular waiver order will apply.  This is the fairest way to do this as it is quite possible the vampire might be among the stronger teams entering the playoffs.

*If the Vampire does not make the playoffs, his victims are returned to their original teams and the rest of his roster is released to waivers.  The Vampire is essentially dead and all the lost undead souls are saved from his reign of terror.  This is an optional rule, but adds yet another twist to this unique format. 

COVID Amendment

If you are unable to substitute a player from your roster, a point allowance will be made in the following way: QB-15 RB-10 WR/FLX-8 TE-6 K/DST-5 each. One caveat: point adjustment will not exceed opposing player’s positional score.  It will match evenly in that case.  In the rare situation where the opposing position scores a negative,  the adjustment will be a zero.   In situations where multiple players could be substituted in a COVID position, owners will need to notify the commissioner in advance.  If the commish is not notified, the COVID substitution will be the player with the higher projection.



Yes, There Are Such Things as Stupid Questions

Said owner’s claim will be reversed via the commish flexing some autocratic muscle.  In addition a league fine (beer) will be paid to the commisioner

Unfortunately if it doesn’t fall under the IR rule, the owner will need to roll the dice with what they have.  The vampire can usually smell excessive whining, so best to move on and avoid further humiliation

No. As is outlined in the rules, you must field a complete team.  In the event of a vacant or invalid starting spot when facing the vampire, if the vampire wins, they will be allowed to take any player from your roster that could rightfully have been used in that roster spot.  In addition, you will be subject to aggravated verbal assaults in group chats and featured ridicule in the Vampire Diaries.

Lets just hope this never happens, but in the ugly scenario described, League Enforcer Hilary will be sent to your house to break kneecaps

Red, Blood Red…duh!

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